Connections

Have I mentioned before how I consider myself a bit of a loner? Well I do. Or rather, I believe I am. And I don't quite consider it a bad thing, either.

I have never been the one with a million friends. Even my facebook friends count is probably considerably low to the norm. But the few friends I do have, are the tried and true kind.  Still, I have no desire to fill my head or fb account with zillions of people who will boost my shallow image of myself.

But what I do strive for is connections. Connections to people. Connections to places, connections to the soul. I have met many a kindred spirit, and am often blown away at the feeling of depth and familiarity that is felt. Connections happen sometimes when you least expect them, and may be fleeting. Or, rather, the relationship may be fleeting. I have had some of my most treasured and potent connections to strangers while travelling a bus, or acquaintances experiencing a similar experience.

Time is such a subjective thing. And so much can happen in such a small time frame. You just have to ask a mother of a toddler who looks away for 5 seconds, that question. 

I truly believe that at the end of the day, and ultimately our life, we are just a sum of our experiences. Most importantly we are the sum of our actions, and our reactions to what life has thrown at us. We are the sum of the connections we have made during our lives, to those who have crossed our paths.

When I look back on my life, I want to see all the colours of the connections I have made, and watch them burn brightly in my memory.  For I see life in a myriad of colours and shapes and painted landscapes of dreams.

I strive to fill my present life with connections that are positive and true, while purging those that no longer speak authentically to me.  Some days my life is extremely full.  Others, not so much.

The older I get, or shall I say, the wiser I get, the more I yearn for those connections to myself. My authentic self. For even when I am alone, I am never truly alone, for I have made a connection that has the most meaning to me.

At the end of the day it's just me, and me.  We might as well get along.  Even better if we have a deep and profound understanding and mutual connection to each other.  

Otherwise it could just get messy...